How to deal with a student who “doesn’t want you all up in their face…” and other observations

First, DON’T make eye-contact (you don’t want to upset her).  Say “hello” at your own risk. Don’t assign her homework; there will always be an excuse. Be friendly, but don’t “hover.” If you look over her shoulder at her progress, be discreet or brace yourself for a confrontation.  On the day of the quiz that you have had planned for weeks, and that the class is well aware of, know that she will refuse to take it. Try to explain that even if she didn’t read, it’s always best to try. Be met with resistance. You will want to argue. Other students will become distracted.  Give up and move on.  Ask to see her after class.  When she is out the door milliseconds after the bell, stay calm.  Think to yourself, “She is probably just having a rough day.” Make a note to talk to her tomorrow. 

The next day you are on alert, ready for a negative experience.  Become pleasantly surprised when she participates actively and even volunteers to lead a discussion.  Hope that this behavior continues.  Decide to forgive the previous day’s behavior to avoid having a talk with her. Know that this is probably NOT the best plan of action. Continue on with it anyway.

When she asks if she can use her bathroom pass to go get her book from her locker, offer her your copy. Immediately realize your error.  Try not to react when she says, “that’s not what I asked” and storms off.

Redirect the class when her negative reactions become a source of entertainment.  Feel a sense of pride when they all joke together and seem to have created a classroom community where EVERYONE IS INCLUDED.

When she comes to class announcing that she can’t get into her locker, sympathize with her but secretly question whether or not this is the truth.  Provide her with a new journal anyway.  Feel bad when a week later she returns the copy of the novel that she had checked out and explains the whole fiasco.

Feel even worse when she tells you that her mother has been in the hospital.  Offer support and guidance. Sense a wave of relief when you find out her mom and new baby brother are getting healthy. Realize there is a major correlation between her home life and her school behavior. Work with her and be gracious, always.

FORGET all the negative encounters each day.  Be positive and welcoming no matter what.  Learn to embrace her unique personality and use it to benefit the class. Recognize that she offers much more than meets the eye. Practice tolerance and acceptance.  Make an effort to make all students feel valued and included.  Don’t hold grudges. Let bygones be bygones.

Become a role model.

Become a teacher…